May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
