i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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