hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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