before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
