whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
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