She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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