Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Randomize