The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Randomize
