Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
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