so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
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