my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
