Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
