Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
