I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Randomize
