I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
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