And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Randomize
