Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
