I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
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