Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
Girls should come with a carfax report
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize