I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
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