just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
