I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I have tasted many bathrooms
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Randomize
