guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
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