Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
