just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I FOUND THE LEGS
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
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