I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Randomize
