His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
