It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
