i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
