She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
