Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
