Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
