Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
