I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Randomize
