Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
