An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
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