its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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