the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
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