9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
