I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
