32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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