just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
We had to coat check the pizza.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Randomize
