I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Randomize
