I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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