Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Randomize
