apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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