So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Randomize
