i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
