At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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