You're so nebulous sometimes
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Randomize
