I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
