Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
