That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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