STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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