He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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