i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Randomize
