i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
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