HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
