we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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