They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
