And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
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