I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
