okay pat passed out under dana's car
Reggie can tackle my bush.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize