My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
