i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
My day in three words: secret purse cake
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
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