Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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