I swear she didn't look like that last week.
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize