EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
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