no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
Randomize
