Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
